• 2007-11-22

    In My Dream Came My Late Wife - [译海扬帆]

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    http://www.blogbus.com/giantwoo-logs/10940931.html

    In My Dream Came My Late Wife
    Trans. Giant Woo

    For ten years, life and death do us part:
    Forlorn and lone, missing thee in my heart.
    Miles, miles afar lay thy single, cold tomb;
    Where to speak my sorrow, then, and to whom?
    Could tell me hardly even if we met,
    With my face dust-furrowed and hair frost-set.

    Nightly dream brought me back home, suddenly,
    By window thou wert dressing, tenderly.
    Mute, dumb, we could but each other regard,
    To contain streaks of tears, essayed so hard.
    Year after year in those moonlit nights,
    I broke my heart upon the pine-cloaked heights.

    Burn myself would I, with thy returned breath,
    To light thee from the dark shadow of Death.


    江城子
    乙卯正月二十夜记梦

    苏轼

    十年生死两茫茫,不思量,自难忘。
    千里孤坟,无处话凄凉。
    纵使相逢应不识,尘满面,鬓如霜。
     
    夜来幽梦忽还乡。小轩窗,正梳妆。
    相顾无言,惟有泪千行。
    料得年年肠断处,明月夜,短松冈。


    PS: 写作课上William Ellis说,他认为John Milton的Methought I Saw My Late Espoused Saint融合了Paganism, Judaism, Christianity,胜过莎翁华而不实的的商籁。此话不假,尤其是最后一句给我印象深刻:

    But O, as to embrace me she inclined,
    I waked, she fled, and day brought back my night.

    我认为,苏爷爷悼念亡妻王弗的《江城子》比弥爷爷的《梦亡妻》更感人,就连我这个没有死过老婆——当然,因为我没有老婆——的娃娃,在十几岁的懵懂岁月里都能读出一点眼泪来,到现在一遍一遍重读也不觉得腻烦。

    翻译古诗纯粹搞起好耍,而且马列课上看书实在集中不了精力,写点东西更容易投入。在水平有限的前提下,我更侧重形式的美观而不是内容的贴切,所以出现诸多漏译、增译的情况实属正常,而且在最后为了凑成十四行,凭空添加了两行。说起来也不算标准的十四行诗,至少我不知道有6+6+2形式的,这也是为了跟原文对应的不得已之举。两行一韵不是经典商籁体的惯例,说成英雄双韵体我写的又不是史诗。但是每行五个音步我是严格遵守了的,本来倒数第二行是“Burn my fire...”的,后来想到fire是双音节就无奈做了修改。

    中国古诗永远是诗歌的巅峰。


    吾荐
    2007-11-22

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